The Plug

I've been dreading the arrival of one of the most accurately titled yet horrendously descriptive items on the labor & delivery 'to do' list... the loss of the mucus plug. I suppose the only way to make it worse sounding would be to call it "the phlegm plug", but that would be just as accurate.

Mine came out in two pieces. I didn't spend as much quality time with it as others seem to have done. I hope that's not heartless. I considered taking a picture of it because the line between 'disgusting' and 'socially acceptable' has been long since distorted. Before I could waddle my way to my phone, I thought better of it.

Living in a maternity hospital, you casually speak about Kanye West's interruption of Taylor Swift with someone with two gloved and lubed fingers in your vagina. (We agreed, he's such a jackass, but it did make the VMAs more eventful.) Bowel movements are considered a sign of good luck, and smiling during contractions is considered the opposite.

But, at least that's one step in the right direction.