A First Christmas Rhyme

It was baby's first Christmas,
So we had to be early,
To allow people to play with her,
And not become surly.

We got there at 12:15,
There was plenty of time,
But as soon as MIL arrived,
So did her whines.

"I want to hold her,
And feed her,
And make her stand up.

I want to hug her
and kiss her,
And make her crack up."

So she tried each of these things,
Under a watchful eye from the dad,
And every mistake,
Would make him quite mad.

During the nap time,
There was such a clatter,
No one lowered their voices,
The sleeping baby didn't matter.

Soon it was time,
To open the gifts,
But oops, we found out,
Baby was at the end of the list.

Quietly she waited,
For the other kids to go,
While she sucked down another bottle,
But we couldn't say no.

Finally it was her turn,
But it was too late,
We got halfway though it,
Before the inevitable fate.

Cameras were flashing,
And people were cheering,
We kept opening presents,
And they all kept leering.

Eventually it was too much,
Or maybe just a fluke,
But the poor baby girl,
Erupted in puke.

We quickly scooped her up,
And walked towards the bedroom door,
Where we had to step over a drunk man,
Who passed out on the floor.



It was enough,
We had both agreed,
It was time to end this Christmas,
We had done our good deed.

On the way home we swore,
We'd not be returning next Christmas season,
There was no good excuse,
...but we have a year to come up with a reason!